Saturday, February 21, 2015
Your Mom
I first saw this video of "whistling at your mom" , filmed in Lima, Peru as a post on a facebook page I have liked, Feminismo Radical, which posts a lot of relevant feminist content in Spanish and is worth a closer look, even if you need a translation app or Spanish dictionary by your side to understand any of it.
In the video, the producers disguise the mothers of the perpetrators and have them walk past their sons, who, as per their habits verbally harass them. They are, of course, horrified to realize this woman they have demeaned is in fact, their mother. I really get a kick out of watching the moms go off at them. Karma can be so beautiful.
It truly baffles me that men think it is okay to catcall women. I am planning to study abroad in Nicaragua and the biggest negative in all of the reviews I have read is that the culture of "machismo"and the high rate of "piropos" or catcalls, even in broad daylight. This does not deter me at all, because like all females, I have already been subjected to this behavior.
What is your end goal with catcalls? I am willing to bet the remainder (however small) of my savings that no derogatory shout at a woman has ever resulted in her pursuing a relationship with the man who called at her. "Nice ass" is not modern romance; it is just creepy.
I like that this video humanizes the victims. These females that you are shouting at are somebody's mothers, sisters, wives, etc. In fact, as was the case with the video, they might even be your own. But the problem is, women cannot only have value as someone else's relative or someone else's loved one. You shouldn't catcall at your mother, not because she is your mother and that is messed up, but because she is a person and that is messed up. The acceptance and prevalence of catcalls is not just an issue of disrespect, but an issue of dehumanization.
During one of my high school cross-country practices, a man shouted from his car "I like the way your titties bounce." I don't resent him for how he disrespected my brothers or dad by association (although they would not be pleased if I had ever mentioned it to them), I resent him for objectifying me and having the audacity to embarrass me while without even a second thought. (More on the disproportionate and often objectifying portrayals of female athletes later).
This thoughtlessness is problematic and deeply engrained in many cultures. If females catcalled back, it would surely look different.
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Hello Grace, great post! I actually came across this video a few days ago as well. And even when it might be funny when their relatives start scolding them for the disrespectful comments they say, this is a very serious issue that many women and adolescents go through daily.
ReplyDeleteThe reason why I enjoy these videos is because the feeling of power that men have over women who are embarrassed and belittled by such comments changes when the women is a relative. The women no longer stay quiet or continue walking because of the humiliation they experience, rather the mom, sister, and relative speak up and scold the men for such perverted behavior (humanizing the women as you mentioned). Men are now feeling embarrassed while the women now have the power to speak their mind due their kinship to the men.
One thing I have questioned myself is whether this actually changes the men's mind about catcalling. Even though men might think about their women relatives going through this, does this really stop them from doing it themselves, or are they just embarrassed for doing this to a relative at the moment. What do you think?
Here’s my thing with cat calls. I hate them. But I’m used to them. I was born in Iran, a country that values the male presence over a woman’s. Maybe it’s where I was raised but I’ve been so used to cat calls that I don’t even get offended by them anymore. In fact, in Iran being cat called is a form of complimenting a girl. How sad. I don’t mean the cat calling of “oh I love the way your titties bounce when you walk” type of cat calling, but I mean they make statements that’s appropriate or ‘inappropriate’ in their own context. I’ve been so conditioned to hear them when I go out in the street in a way I even expect them, a part of me seeks validation for my beauty in these cat calls when I’m in Iran. I know it sounds bad, that I like to be cat called but what I’m trying to say is that it’s mainly due to the culture I was raised in. It’s a culture where the male gaze is so valued that we seek validation in it; to not be cat called is to be considered ugly and to be cat called is a way that reinforces your high social status.
ReplyDeleteI value America for its rules on sexual harassment, for it deeming cat calling bad, but I ask myself how will I be able to tell my daughter to respond to situations like this if I’ve been brought up thinking its normal and in fact necessary? This begs the question of how women in third world countries can be taught to be empowered and beautiful without having male validation- especially when it comes in a degrading form.
i really enjoyed your post~^^
ReplyDeleteCatcalling is one unethical behavior that dehumanizes victims and makes the victim to hate the culprit instead of swinging their love to it. In the worst-case scenario, catcalling could make them lose self-esteem.
Curbing such traits calls for the cooperation of the community to inform the culprits how such negative comments affect women. Video recording culprits catcalling relatives who have disguised their faces is one of the best ways of showing the true character of culprits to their relatives who shall help to teach them to respect women.
That video was great! I like how you mention that the video humanizes the victims but I also understand that it should humanize females by making the people watching understand that they are people, it shouldn’t “humanize” women because it’s creepy to catcall at your own mother. This sense of false machismo needs to be taken out of cultures because it just comes across incorrectly, especially to foreigners.
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