Don't Be Absent for Transgender 101

In last night's two-hour ABC interview, Bruce Jenner, no stranger to media attention, explained to Diane Sawyer and nearly 17 million viewers, his internal struggles with being transgender, a part of himself he has kept hidden for decades. 

“For all intents and purposes, I’m a woman."

Though he identifies as a woman, for the time being, Bruce still uses masculine pronouns for himself, so I will do the same in this post, though in the interview, he also referred to himself as "Bruce" and "her".  Bruce has not yet revealed to the public the female name he has chosen but jokingly insisted that it does not start with a "K" and that "she is definitely a Jenner" in regards to his famous reality TV  family so many, like myself, Keep Up With. 

“My brain is much more female than it is male. It’s hard for people to understand that, but that’s what my soul is.”

The reason this is so hard for people to understand is because we live in a heteronormative society, which entirely neglects and alienates groups of people. As is the problem with a white-centric, cis-centric feminism, which intersectional feminism hopes to address, so, too must we recognize that we need to start changing the way we talk about gender and sexuality in order to stop marginalizing groups.

Bruce Jenner has become "the unlikely center of a national dialogue around gender." Sawyer's questions and clarifications, paired with Jenner's genuine honesty and patient explanations, hopefully will establish once and for all that sexual desire and gender are too separate things. When Sawyer asked Bruce if, since he identified as a woman, but was attracted to women, if that made him a lesbian or how that worked, he cautioned her:

"You're going back to the sex thing and it's apples and oranges."

While it can be tricky to understand the difference when the words "gender" and "sex" and "sexuality" so often are interchanged indiscriminately, those who have the privilege of ignorance by identifying with what is considered the norm, need to consider that not everyone fits into this false mold and binary.  

The Trans Student Educational Resources website posted this extremely helpful graphic to clarify confusion about the distinction between gender and sex assigned at birth. The definitions below the graphic, also from the website, provide further insight. I love the Gender Unicorn because before I was introduced to it at a WYSE (Women and Youth Supporting Each Other) reflection,  I didn't have a clear understanding of the distinction between sex and gender; I had never even considered the difference between romantic and sexual attraction. 

Definitions:
Gender Identity: Gender Identity: One's internal sense of being male, female, neither of these, both, or another gender. Everyone has a gender identity, including you. For transgender people, their sex assigned at birth and their own internal sense of gender identity are not the same. Female, woman, and girl and male, man, and boy are also NOT necessarily linked to each other but are just six common gender identities.
Gender Expression/Presentation: The physical manifestation of one's gender identity through clothing, hairstyle, voice, body shape, etc. Most transgender people seek to make their gender expression (how they look) match their gender identity (who they are), rather than their sex assigned at birth.
Sex Assigned at Birth: The assignment and classification of people as male, female, intersex, or another gender based on a combination of anatomy, hormones, chromosomes. It is important we don't simply use "sex" because of the vagueness of the definition of sex and its place in transphobia. Chromosomes are frequently used to determine sex from prenatal karyotyping (although not as often as genitalia). Chromosomes do not determine genitalia.
Sexually Attracted To: Sexual Orientation. It is important to note that sexual and romantic/emotional attraction can be from a variety of factors including but not limited to gender identity, gender expression/presentation, and sex assigned at birth.
Romantically/Emotionally Attracted To: Romantic/emotional orientation. It is important to note that sexual and romantic/emotional attraction can be from a variety of factors including but not limited to gender identity, gender expression/presentation, and sex assigned at birth.

Not only is Jenner bringing awareness to the less talked about identities, he also puts a face, a famous one, to the issues so many transgender people have had to face, largely in silence. To those who question his motives, absurdly suggesting he has decided to transition to become a woman for publicity purposes, Jenner refutes:

We’re going to make a difference in the world with what we’re doing, and if the whole Kardashian show gave me a foothold into that world, to be able to go out there and do something good, I got not problem with that. 

Also in the interview, in a very relatable way, Jenner explains how hard it was to tell the people he loved, especially his children, for fear of how it might affect them. Drian Juarez, who has faced harassment and violence as a transgender woman, related to the kind of fear Jenner described about coming out to his family. Jenner did not want to disappoint his children in particular and Juarez feared losing her support system and loved ones. Though she and other members of the transgender community were apprehensive about what ABC's coverage would entail, Juarez was very impressed: 

“It almost feels like Transgender 101...

People of Bruce Jenner’s generation had a lot of misinformation on what being transgender is, and I hope they will be able to have some dialogue about this...I really feel like this is a turning point in terms of the awareness of trans identity...things are changing, and I hope this is a sign of how things can change for the better.”

Jenner and Sawyer did not shy away from the hard truths about what transgender people face every single day, as we've seen in the news with high rates of violence against them and disproportional poverty rates. A 2011 study by the National Center for Transgender Equality found that 41% of transgender and gender nonconforming people (of the 6,450 surveyed) had attempted suicide.

Just last December, the tragic suicide of Leelah Alcorn started a conversation about society's treatment of transgender people, when the suicide note she posted to Tumblr revealed what sparked her sense of hopelessness was her parents' refusal to accept her for who she was.

Leelah's note read, in regards to when she first learned what it meant to be transgender:

"...After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn't make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don't tell this to your kids."

Jenner's family, on the other hand, is setting an example for the rest of the world, showing their dad well-deserved respect and unconditional love.

Brandon Jenner described how proud he was, as a kid, when people recognized him by his last name as Bruce's son, the son of an Olympic gold medalist and American hero. Brandon's sentiments about his father now when people recognize him as his son are just as positive. He told his father during the interview:

I saw a sense of bravery that is, for all your previous accomplishments, I think far exceeds all of them, I’m just honored and more proud than ever to be a part of the family.

The rest of Jenner's family also voiced their support on social media. Bruce describes Kim's support, which stemmed from Kanye's wise take on the situation. He explained to her, in one of the biggest moments of the interview that no matter what you have in life, a beautiful wife or beautiful baby:

"I’m nothing if I can’t be me.”

Bruce's poignant interview, ABC's well-informed and tasteful coverage, and the great example his family is setting has inspired members of the transgender community and allies everywhere that this very well could be one of the biggest turning points of our time. Bruce has accepted who he truly is and it's time the rest of us do the same, both for ourselves and for everyone around us.

Life is hard enough without having to feel like you can't be true to yourself. Or that your family cannot accept you.

Bruce's interview is an excellent starting point towards changing this.

 

Intersectionality

I wrote a few weeks back about Patricia Arquette's Oscar speech on the wage gap. Her remarks when accepting the award took a bold stance on the gender-based inequalities in pay that need to be addressed, but when interviewed afterward, her message was not so clear or positive. Though she later clarified via Twitter her backstage comments, they completely undermined her intended message:

“So the truth is, even though we sort of feel like we have equal rights in America, right under the surface there are huge issues that are applied that really do affect women. It’s time for all the women in America, and all the men that love women and all the gay people and all the people of color that we’ve all fought for to fight for us now.”

Her comments sparked outrage, of course, as they imply that people of color and the queer community, are fighting for entirely separate causes and that feminism inherently is an issue for straight, white women. Though Arquette did later clarify her intentions, this quote demonstrates what is perhaps the biggest flaw with the feminist movement, it excludes people by omission.

Intersectional feminism is the goal, but we have a long way to go before we get there, especially when celebrities like Arquette receive the most media attention and therefore define what feminism is in pop culture. To change these white-centric, cis-centric biases, we first need to change the discourses about feminism; inclusion, sensitivity, and awareness are essential.

On April 8, UCB comedian and Fusion writer Akilah Hughes, took changing the discourses surrounding feminism into her own hands, by posting a YouTube video explaining intersectionality in terms which we can all understand- fast food:

"While it's great and delightful to have such broad discussions about sexism and feminism on the Internet, it's pretty clear that the majority of the issues deemed worthy of discussion seem to only highlight the plight of White women."

The video comes with a handy key in the description, detailing the metaphors Hughes uses.

**KEY**:
Burgers = Men
Pizza = Women
Cheese Pizza = White Women
Deluxe Pizza = any combination of gay, bi, trans, POC etc., women

She explains, in her own clever way, how it is hard to be a pizza in a burger world, but it is even harder to be a deluxe pizza when cheese pizzas are the only pizza ever addressed in the discussion surrounding pizza rights.

Intersectional feminism is not difficult to understand, but it will take some serious conscious-shifting to be successful.

Hughes sums it up best in her video, 

As great as it is to uplift cheese pizzas, the world could use a lot more flavor.

Bringing Sex Ed Back

The longstanding debate regarding sex education is misguided and cyclical; in fact, the biggest problem with sex education is that we haven’t figured out the problem with sex education. A recent study found that millennials are highly in favor of sex education in schools, yet nearly four of ten, ironically enough, found their own sex education experiences had little to no applicability in their real lives.  While this may seem self-contradictory, these millennials are, in fact, right on both accounts.

Many adolescents are or will be sexually active and, without access to medically accurate, complete, and unbiased information, they will never become informed enough to navigate real world sexual encounters and relationships. Sex education should be taught in schools, though fewer than half of U.S. states require it to be taught at all, but the curriculum needs a makeover.

What we need is an intelligent sex education that addresses the real life situations of young people, who come into the classroom with background knowledge and assumptions, often from the Internet or their peers. As a mentor for Women and Youth Supporting Each Other, I have first-hand experience augmenting misconceptions that our mentees, 7^th and 8^th grade girls, carried with them. Several students shared the false belief that using a tampon would “take your virginity”, something we had never considered addressing in our curriculum. Others believed that you could not get sexually transmitted infections from oral sex, which we were able to correct after a student asked about this anonymously using our Question Box. It is likely that the millennials surveyed found that the information they received, though most found it to be medically accurate, was not applicable to real life because their school-based sex educators failed to recognize and address the diversity of beliefs and values in the surrounding community of the school.

Sex education is about more than preventing pregnancy in young people, thought that is often a way of measuring its success. In my experiences as a mentor/sex educator, we devote several sessions to the topics of pregnancy and childbirth, always with the awareness that in the area where we teach, teen pregnancy is very common and often acceptable, but knowledge of contraception is minimal. An abstinence-only sex education program in a community like this one or an outside educator warning against teen pregnancy, when many of their mothers or siblings had children young, would likely do more harm than good.

Our method, and a good one for all sexual education programs, is SOY: Some do, Others don’t, You decide. But the SOY acronym is not effective unless the students have complete information to make an informed decision. Many critics of sex education programs in general insist that it is the parents’ responsibility to teach their children this information according to their beliefs and values. However, family members, religious, and community groups might not have the knowledge, skill, or comfort, to present all of the facts in an unbiased way allowing adolescents to form make their own choices, as they will in adulthood and throughout the rest of their lives.

Furthermore, if young people’s only sexual education comes from their parents, who may in fact be in a dysfunctional relationship themselves, how will they ever learn what a healthy relationship entails- something only 45% of millennials were taught in their sex ed classes? Furthermore, in less accepting communities, how will queer adolescents learn safe sexual practices? In the same study, only 12% surveyed discussed same-sex relationships in their class. A third, and increasingly important issue missing from most sex education courses is consent, which is problematic with sexual assault instances arising as early as middle school.

We need to build off the successful programs already in place and implement them in schools across the nation, but not fall into the trap of maintaining a rigid structure or formulaic approach as cultural considerations and awareness of students’ existing beliefs are essential to adapting for the needs of each classroom.  Interested parents should have the option of being trained on how to teach the material to their children, but they should not be the only source of sex education; a thorough and unbiased curriculum, with open discussions and a safe environment for questions, is the only way to prepare young people for real world experiences.

Yes, abstinence should be taught as an option, as it is the only guaranteed way of avoiding unplanned pregnancy or STIS, but not the only option. And yes, the biological processes should be taught so students have a greater understanding of their bodies, but that is not the only understanding of sex they should have. If students know the scientific process of how to make a baby, but don’t know the resources available at the Planned Parenthood down the street, or what does or does not constitute consent, or if the relationship they are in is a healthy one, or how having a baby at their age would affect them in the long-term, or what other sexual identities there are when all they know is what their heteronormative community has taught them is "normal", then sex education will have failed once again. 

Whenever You Remember

I saw this on my Facebook today and it got me thinking about how we remember famous women. In Hepburn's case, I think this graphic minimizes her film successes (Breakfast at Tiffany's, anyone?) but does so in order to prove a valid point. I did not know Hepburn was a Goodwill Ambassador or about her Presidential Medal of Freedom and I think most people would agree that one of the first things that comes to mind when someone mentions Audrey Hepburn is her beauty.

This one-dimensional focus on a single facet of who Hepburn was is problematic, of course, but there are worse things than being remembered by history for your attractive appearance.

Just ask Monica Lewinsky.

Until her Ted Talk a few weeks ago, her name probably did not trigger connections to essayist, Masters, or social activist. She was merely 24 years old when her personal life became the focus of not only a federal investigation, but also the entire nation, including the relentless media, late night hosts, and scandal-crazed public. Her parents even worried she would quite literally be humiliated to death.

In the talk, Lewinsky describes "The Price of Shame" and advocates for a more compassionate social media environment, as one of the first to experience the "culture of humiliation".  She is now using her voice to take a stance against cyber-bullying.

In a NPR Interview, New York Times contributor, Jessica Bennett describes the changing media landscape:

I think that over time there's been some public reckoning. And it's been interesting to talk to media folks about this who covered it at the time and now even look back on their stories and think, huh, that wasn't quite fair. I think that a lot of the language that was used back then - you know, she was called a tart, a tramp, basically everything but slut, publicly - it would never fly today. 

While the apparent success Monica has had rebranding since the Ted Talk is encouraging, the idea that this bright woman will probably still be forever remembered by many for her personal life at age 24 is upsetting to say the least. On the other hand, Bill Clinton has had arguably more influence and success after his presidency and is not only known internationally, but respected. When you think of Bill Clinton, his foundation or work abroad might come to mind first, and his infidelity much, much later if at all.

So if Hepburn, an actress and humanitarian, is remembered as "pretty", Lewinsky, with a Masters in Social Psychology and a successful activist campaign after her Ted Talk, is remembered, if I'm being generous, as "a joke",  and Bill Clinton is remembered as "a leader" with little to no attention paid to his transgressions, is it really possible to deny a gender bias?

Who is controlling how these famous figures are portrayed and eventually immortalized? The media certainly plays a role and perhaps is now understanding the sensitivity and decency that should accompany that responsibility. There needs to be a change in not just the content that is created but in who is creating it. We need female content creators and we need feminist media consumers to demand this and until then, read everything with an awareness of a clear bias favoring males.