Bringing Sex Ed Back

The longstanding debate regarding sex education is misguided and cyclical; in fact, the biggest problem with sex education is that we haven’t figured out the problem with sex education. A recent study found that millennials are highly in favor of sex education in schools, yet nearly four of ten, ironically enough, found their own sex education experiences had little to no applicability in their real lives.  While this may seem self-contradictory, these millennials are, in fact, right on both accounts.

Many adolescents are or will be sexually active and, without access to medically accurate, complete, and unbiased information, they will never become informed enough to navigate real world sexual encounters and relationships. Sex education should be taught in schools, though fewer than half of U.S. states require it to be taught at all, but the curriculum needs a makeover.

What we need is an intelligent sex education that addresses the real life situations of young people, who come into the classroom with background knowledge and assumptions, often from the Internet or their peers. As a mentor for Women and Youth Supporting Each Other, I have first-hand experience augmenting misconceptions that our mentees, 7^th and 8^th grade girls, carried with them. Several students shared the false belief that using a tampon would “take your virginity”, something we had never considered addressing in our curriculum. Others believed that you could not get sexually transmitted infections from oral sex, which we were able to correct after a student asked about this anonymously using our Question Box. It is likely that the millennials surveyed found that the information they received, though most found it to be medically accurate, was not applicable to real life because their school-based sex educators failed to recognize and address the diversity of beliefs and values in the surrounding community of the school.

Sex education is about more than preventing pregnancy in young people, thought that is often a way of measuring its success. In my experiences as a mentor/sex educator, we devote several sessions to the topics of pregnancy and childbirth, always with the awareness that in the area where we teach, teen pregnancy is very common and often acceptable, but knowledge of contraception is minimal. An abstinence-only sex education program in a community like this one or an outside educator warning against teen pregnancy, when many of their mothers or siblings had children young, would likely do more harm than good.

Our method, and a good one for all sexual education programs, is SOY: Some do, Others don’t, You decide. But the SOY acronym is not effective unless the students have complete information to make an informed decision. Many critics of sex education programs in general insist that it is the parents’ responsibility to teach their children this information according to their beliefs and values. However, family members, religious, and community groups might not have the knowledge, skill, or comfort, to present all of the facts in an unbiased way allowing adolescents to form make their own choices, as they will in adulthood and throughout the rest of their lives.

Furthermore, if young people’s only sexual education comes from their parents, who may in fact be in a dysfunctional relationship themselves, how will they ever learn what a healthy relationship entails- something only 45% of millennials were taught in their sex ed classes? Furthermore, in less accepting communities, how will queer adolescents learn safe sexual practices? In the same study, only 12% surveyed discussed same-sex relationships in their class. A third, and increasingly important issue missing from most sex education courses is consent, which is problematic with sexual assault instances arising as early as middle school.

We need to build off the successful programs already in place and implement them in schools across the nation, but not fall into the trap of maintaining a rigid structure or formulaic approach as cultural considerations and awareness of students’ existing beliefs are essential to adapting for the needs of each classroom.  Interested parents should have the option of being trained on how to teach the material to their children, but they should not be the only source of sex education; a thorough and unbiased curriculum, with open discussions and a safe environment for questions, is the only way to prepare young people for real world experiences.

Yes, abstinence should be taught as an option, as it is the only guaranteed way of avoiding unplanned pregnancy or STIS, but not the only option. And yes, the biological processes should be taught so students have a greater understanding of their bodies, but that is not the only understanding of sex they should have. If students know the scientific process of how to make a baby, but don’t know the resources available at the Planned Parenthood down the street, or what does or does not constitute consent, or if the relationship they are in is a healthy one, or how having a baby at their age would affect them in the long-term, or what other sexual identities there are when all they know is what their heteronormative community has taught them is "normal", then sex education will have failed once again.